Café’ kid
(looking at a crushed store): “Wow! This is the coolest thing I've ever seen!
Explosions everywhere! This is easily a hundred times cooler than Armageddon...
I swear to God!”
Cool CGI,
ridiculous dialogue, stupid plot. The film starts with relationship between the
young hero and his newly bought car. (Yes, his car.) The car turns out to be an
intergalactic robot, in war with other intergalactic robots. Somehow the young
hero’s old grandfather made a discovery and somehow some sort of geotag got
etched on his grandfather’s spectacles (!) that he’s trying to sell on Ebay (first
product placement).
The good
and the bad robots fight to get the spectacles. The Universe is at stake. Robots
throwing tanks like snowballs, beating the crap out of each other can’t fail,
can it?
Secretary
of Defense: “We are dealing with a highly effective weapons system, one that we
have not come across before.” The movie can’t fail, can it?
Optimus
Prime: “And the human race will be extinguished.” The movie can’t fail, can it?
Three
things actually make the movie work: It has a decently structured plot, even
though it’s stupid, with a decent cast of characters. And the movie never takes
itself too seriously.
Transformers
is remarkably stupid, but it knows it’s stupid and simply doesn’t care, which
is why the film is so much fun. Director Michael Bay shows his robots in
perfect hero poses with blinding sunlight streaming over their shoulders, and robot
Optimus Prime talks about loyalty, duty, and freedom like he’s just stepped off
a recruitment poster.
Transformers
absolutely revels in how completely loony this premise is, and is all the
better for it. The movie is a great, noisy and explosive six-pack and popcorn
action film, if you are in CGI-action mode.
Grade: B+
Advisory: Lots of stuff blown up. Robots cause
mayhem everywhere they go. Hugo Weaving was paid handsomely to voice the
villain Megatron
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